I’m getting married next year, and I love my mom and do want her involved in the planning, but lately I feel like it’s starting to become her wedding, not mine 🙁 Every time she asks me what I want and I give her an answer, she always makes "suggestions" of other things I should do. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or alienate her, but I want this to be enjoyable! Am I being unreasonable?
It really depends on who is paying for the wedding. If you are paying for it, then tell her what you want and put your foot down.
If she is paying for it, then you need to very gently explain to her that you understand that she is excited about planning your wedding but that this is your wedding and you are not happy with, X, Y Z (fill in the blanks). I’m sure she is just trying to be helpful and is getting over excited about everything.
Good luck!
November 29th, 2009 at 2:24 am
oh honey its ur wedding not hers
and tell her that
say mom i love ya but i want MY day to be perfect
lol but if shes payin…maybe lets her have a SAY nothing moree
trust me i know
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wedding planner
November 29th, 2009 at 2:41 am
My mum’s the same. I love her to bits, but we have very different taste. She’s paying for some of it, so I take her input into consideration, but its my final decision. try compromising on some things so she feels involved. for instance, my mum wanted the bridesmaids in red, I thought this might overshadow the bride a bit, so they’re having a black dress with a red sash and red tulle at the bottom. she’s very happy about it and telling everyone "it was my idea to have the red". lol. let her know that you value her opinion, but its your wedding.
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November 29th, 2009 at 2:52 am
It really depends on who is paying for the wedding. If you are paying for it, then tell her what you want and put your foot down.
If she is paying for it, then you need to very gently explain to her that you understand that she is excited about planning your wedding but that this is your wedding and you are not happy with, X, Y Z (fill in the blanks). I’m sure she is just trying to be helpful and is getting over excited about everything.
Good luck!
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November 29th, 2009 at 3:06 am
You’re being a little unreasonable. As of right now, your mom is only making suggestions. It’s a mom thing. They do that. As long as her suggestions are not being overly pushy and she’s not ridiculing your decisions, you should let it go. Don’t turn an ant hill into a mountain.
In the end, if you make a decision, she should respect it. She would only be pushing the limit if you made a decision and she continued to "suggest" something that has already been finished/decided.
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November 29th, 2009 at 3:20 am
While your mum does sound a little over the top try to think of how you would feel if she didn’t care & didn’t want to help with any of the planning i’d rather have over involvement than under involvement
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November 29th, 2009 at 3:58 am
If she is helping pay then I think she has a say. But it is your wedding and your husband to be. So I think he should be helping with the planning. Maybe her "suggestions" will help in the long run. good luck
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November 29th, 2009 at 4:33 am
That depends… is she paying for everything? The more she pays for, the less of a voice you have. If you want total autonomy, pay for it yourself!
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